Forty-eight hours or so ago I was sitting in a doctor’s office room, exactly like the ones I had been in dozens of times with my wife as she was having her prenatal checkups during both of her pregnancies. My penis was folded back and taped to my belly and my recently (and closely) shaved balls were exposed through a hole in a paper doctor’s blanket. I was finally having done what I had known for years I would have at some point, but didn’t know when. I was having my vasectomy.
After the procedure, I walked out to the waiting room to meet my wife with a big smile and the nurse who was assisting the doctor in the room said I did great.
Check Out Jeff’s Vasectomy Q&A on our Instagram Highlights!
After Candace and I got home, she asked if she could do an ad-hawk interview on Instagram to discuss the procedure and how I was feeling. I am not a big social media person, but I agreed. After a series of IG story posts, Candace could not believe the response we were getting for talking about my vasectomy. DMs, thanking us for discussing the vasectomy procedure and the conversation involved.
Several women show their husbands my quick q&a about the procedure, showing them it’s not a big deal and nothing to be afraid of. There were also men asking questions about the process itself and if a vasectomy hurt. I was actually kind of shocked.
Why I got a Vasectomy.
Men aren’t known to discuss vasectomies openly, or really any men’s health issues for that matter, but while navigating my own, I learned several of my friends and co-workers had vasectomies. I had discussed the procedure with them and the reasons they decided to get it done.
During every conversation, everyone who had it done said it was no big deal and recommended it; but also in every conversation there was a level of men’s humor and ball-busting saying things like, “getting snipped”, “being neutered”, “losing your manhood” and/or “losing your nuts”.
There is also the endless memes and GIFs which my buddies sent me the day of the procedure in the same vein. As good as humor is for the soul to deescalate stressful and unknown situations, it also contributes to the scariness and apprehension of getting a vasectomy done.
I was thirteen when I first became an uncle. My sister was 23 when she had my niece and my mother would regularly watch my niece while my sister was at work. My niece would always come with me and my mom – shopping, to the park, and to all my sports games growing up. I got to see firsthand and at an early pubescent age how hard it is to take care of a baby. My mother was also very keen to tell me around this time and the next few years as my interest in girls grew, to “always keep that little thing wrapped up”. Being a good Irish Catholic son, from the moment I began to be sexually active I always had my mother’s words ringing in my head. Though this is a funny way to explain what sexual advice stuck with me from my mother, we did have more sincere and in-depth (and awkward) conversations about my personal sexual responsibility.
My mom taught me to respect women. The one way I had to most control over this, was how I treated myself with respect.
Throughout my entire sexual life, I have been an obsessive condom user. Using a condom was (and still is for the next 90 days or so) my part in responsible sex. Had there been a male birth control pill, IUD, or NuvaRing – believe me, I would have used that too. I knew when I was going to have children someday, but it was going to be on my terms and my timeline, and by the grace of God and the good people of Trojan it was.
Now 38 years old, I knew I was ready to take the responsible step in male birth control and get my vasectomy. This decision was the easy part for me, I have two children I adore and I knew I didn’t want to have any more after 40. I told Candace I would wait for her permission to get the vasectomy (because she had just had our second baby and hadn’t yet closed the door to having a third).
We talked a lot about the vasectomy and waded through the ‘newborn haze’ before making a decision.
Planning for the Vasectomy Procedure
Around the New Year, our youngest was about eight months, I told Candace I was making an appointment for the consolation with a Urologist, learning more about the vasectomy procedure. I wanted all the information for the inevitable “V”-Day. At this point, I knew generally what they did in the procedure, but didn’t know exactly what it entailed. I went to the appointment and got all the information. I brought it home but didn’t make the appointment for the procedure at that time.
We continued to have the conversation about when it was the right time throughout the next couple of months. Then around April, our youngest turned one and we felt complete in our family unit and decided to move forward. I made the appointment.
I set it up for a Thursday because I could take Thursday and Friday off from work and have the weekend to recover. I was prescribed valium to relax me for the procedure and some hydrocodone for pain afterward both of which I filled before I even made my appointment.
The Day of the Vasectomy Procedure
On the day of the appointment, I took a shower and man-scaped, paying close attention to the front of my balls because that is where the doctor would be making the necessary incisions. The doctor’s instructions tell you to wear tight-fitting underwear (“tighty-whities”), so I put on my tightest Under Armour underwear the ones I usually wear when I am wearing a suit. We then drove to the doctor’s office where I was met by a receptionist to fill out some paperwork and told to take my valium, which I did.
I was then taken back to the office where the vasectomy would take place. I was told to take off all my clothes from my waist down and place a paper blanket over me. The nurse then returned and taped my penis to my belly and sterilized by penis and scrotum and placed another paper blanket over my waist and pulled my scrotum and penis through a hole in the blanket, then she re-covered me with the paper blanket and went to get the doctor to start the procedure.
The doctor then showed up and introduced herself (this was weird to me because the doctor that was at my consolation was a man, and I only imagined it would be a guy performing my vasectomy). She then asked if I had any questions which I didn’t and the procedure began.
She told me there was going to be a little pinch at first then I’d feel some tugging, but if I felt any pain to let her know. She started in the right testicle, with two shots of lidocaine in the testicle (this was the worst part). It’s not that it hurt, I am just not a fan of needles and anything sharp stabbing me in a sensitive area like my balls is something I typically would avoid.
During the whole procedure, I am awake and aware of what is going on, just relaxing lying on the bed and making light conversation with the doctor and nurse, until they turned on some classic rock. Then the same procedure started on my left testicle.
Once the doctor was finished cutting the tubes that connect my testes to my penis and cauterizing the tubes, I was given two stitches and the procedure was over. The whole thing took about 45 minutes. The doctor then left the room and the nurse cleaned me up and removed the paper blankets and the tape from the penis.
I was told I could put my clothes back on and was walked out to the waiting room where Candace was waiting. Candace then drove me home, I took a nap for an hour and iced as the doctor had instructed.
About 5 p.m. that night I came downstairs and had dinner with Candace and the kids. I was still doing as the doctor instructed icing for 20 minutes and off for 20 minutes the rest of the night. The hardest thing for me that night was to keep two small children from jumping on my groin as they do every day without thinking about it. The only pain medication I have taken in two days is the two Advil when I got home, two before bed the first night, and two I took around lunch the following day.
Forty-eight hours later and I have yet to feel any bad pain or discomfort. Honestly, the only way I’d know at this point anything had happened is the two small stitches on my balls. The doctor told me the stitches would come out on their own in three weeks.
Does a Vasectomy Hurt?
The whole vasectomy process is virtually painless, guys.
On the scale of discomfort to pain, it’s somewhere between getting a cavity filled and a root canal was done. The procedure is a little awkward cause your whole business is just hanging out there and there is slight discomfort when it’s happening but you bounce back quickly.
Women give birth which is crazy. I’d like to think I could handle that situation, but after seeing my wife’s two c-sections, I’m glad I never have to experience that.
When you and your partner decide it is the right time to stop having children, a vasectomy should be a no brainer. I always knew the day would come when I would have one, and two days ago it did.
I don’t feel less of a man in any way, in fact, I feel stronger and closer to my wife because I took an active part in our family planning.
